In July my family made their annual trek down south to see family, with one small detour to Gulf Shores. It’s roughly 18 hours down to Alabama (closer to 22 when you make it all the way to the Gulf) and we stop and visit family and friends as we go.

Is it an ordeal? You bet. Does the Spirit need to work in our minds and bodies to keep us from turning into homicidal maniacs? Maybe sometimes.

But we have good times too. If we didn’t, I don’t know what we would do. We’re getting too old to take trips that don’t contain fun. And like that neighbor that you never see in your neighborhood but always bump into when you’re in the most random places, I met a good moment in Alabama that I could also hang out with at home in Wisconsin; I played Old Maid with my girls.

(I was going to go into a long exposition here about why card games are the best kind of games. It was going to be thorough, with lists and graphics and testimonials, but it would have distracted from the main point of the post. Just know that this is an opinion I hold as fact and I welcome any spirited debate on the topic.)

Old Maid has basically two rules: 1. Make as many pairs as you can–most pairs wins. 2. If the game ends and you have the Old Maid card, you lose no matter what. Now that I think about it, how has this game not been canceled yet? Has it be canceled? I don’t know. I don’t follow most things.

Of course there is more to it than that. In order to make pairs, you have to draw from other players’ hands. This is nerve-wracking because you can’t see which card you are drawing and that leaves you open to getting the Old Maid card. Unless…

Unless you already have the Old Maid. In that case you can draw cards with wild abandon, laughing inwardly as your opponents squirm and cringe with fear while drawing from others.

Deriving pleasure from watching your kids turn into a bundle of nervous giggles while you blithely hold the one card that could single-handedly disintegrate all their hard work is one of the perks of parenthood.

Also, it is kind of a picture of what it looks like to live in the hope of eternal life with Jesus. Not the sadistic stuff, of course, but follow me for a moment.

Three Ways Living Like a Loser Makes Things Better:

But wait, if I’m a Christian, shouldn’t I be living in victory? Good point, Friend. Yes, absolutely. I have just found that one of my biggest obstacles to “living in victory” is I am so dang obsessed with trying to win at things that don’t really matter. I am afraid of losing things that, newsflash, I’m going to lose in the end anyway. Jesus didn’t want His disciples to win at everything. He even showed them what they would have to lose by hanging on the cross.

1. You are a dead person walking. Sure, you’re a goner, but you know that at the end of the game you are going to stand up and walk away. When the game ends, you won’t. You aren’t living for the game, just like you aren’t living for this life. There’s still a lot of fun to be had when it is all over.

2. You can be grateful without making useless idols. You are free to collect all the pairs regardless of whether or not they count for anything in the end. If I am holding the Old Maid, there is a good chance that all the pairs I am collecting won’t actually matter. So I can enjoy accumulating them, but I don’t have to scramble for more. Wouldn’t life be more fun if we weren’t searching for the next thing that would make us feel fulfilled?

3. It is more fun to be generous. On the flip side of the last point, if I know I’m going to lose, I can be happy when the other players get what they want. Take the construction worker card, I won’t be needing it.

I don’t want you to get the idea that I’m not competitive. I can be just as obnoxious as anyone else in games where any level of skill is involved. But playing Old Maid reminds me that there is a lot that is out of my control. The choices people make, the hand that I am dealt, I don’t control those things–not even if I am the dealer.

Now What?

So how do we do it? How do we live like losers? You can figure this out on your own, but if you need a reminder (like I do), here you go:

TRUST. If the Savior tells us that this is life, and He is the way, the truth, and the life, it must be true. Which means we believe something that is contrary to our sinful nature. Which means we need that Holy Spirit!

PRAY. Only He can give us the desire/courage/strength/wisdom to embrace the loser lifestyle! We pray in thanksgiving for all the ways He has served us!

READ. Here are just some verses to meditate on. Feel free to find your own verses as well:

“For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul?”

Mark 8:35-37 ESV

“And Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.”

John‬ ‭12‬:‭23‬-‭26‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.” Peter began to say to him, “See, we have left everything and followed you.” Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.””‬‬

Mark‬ ‭10‬:‭27‬-‭31‬ ‭ESV

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

Philippians‬ ‭2‬:‭1‬-‭11‬ ‭ESV‬‬

LOOK. God, open my eyes to opportunities to put others first. It’s not about me winning here and now. It’s about the reality that You already won!

ACT. Here are just some ideas to get you started:

• Take care of someone’s dirty dish without being asked or receiving recognition.
• Let someone go first–in traffic, in line, wherever.
• Thank God for blessing someone with that thing that you want but don’t have.
• Listen to someone tell you about what is going on in their world.
• Pick up trash.
• Give a smile, hug, or high-five.

You know what to do. Actually, if you do one of these things or something else, I’d love to hear about it! Or you can be sneaky and help another person without anyone knowing. Look at you, being all stealthy and kind.

God is good all the time. And while life often doesn’t feel like a game, and losing is a painful process, God gives us the relief we need found only in Him. He redeems our losses and trades them for His victory.

You are precious, loved and held by the One who values you more than you can comprehend. To Him be the glory.