Starting Over

fullsizeoutput_1885Hey, Friends! So here is what I have been facing for, oh, the last two years or so. JK. Let’s try the last year. Don’t worry, I’ll fast forward through all the commercials for you.

About a year ago, a blessing of wild proportions happened: my youngest kid went to 4K. (4K= 4 year-old kindergarten, and no, I have no idea where that stands on the spectrum of preschool-kindergarten) Anyhoo, with that milestone down I found myself presented with the question, “What are you going to do with all that time?” 4K ran every morning for almost 3 hours, the time filled quickly, but that confronted me with a new dilemma… what about next year when all my kiddos are in school and I have the whole day “to myself”?

Every mother’s dream, right? Especially for a stay-at-home mom.

Wrong-o.

I’m not going to pretend to speak for every stay-at-home mom, and I’m not going to pretend the prospect of setting my own schedule isn’t appealing. I am going to say that after you have been in a career for 11 years, the anticipation of changing careers can be a bit alarming.

I took stock of what I could do based on what I did pre-kids…

  1. Go to school.
  2. Substitute teach.
  3. Write.
  4. Be a rock star.

So only a few of those pay, and one is basically imaginary (guess), and while my heart soars in the classroom, I gotta say- I need to write.

So that’s what is going on here. I’ve been writing in the background off and on, but I know I am called to write more. To write right here. And now that my brain is running a little more efficiently (want to know how long it will take your body and brain to fully recover from zero caffeine and zero-ish sugar? Think months and years), I am writing again in this public sphere.

Here’s the thing: I’m just a bit terrified to invest in this fully. There’s this cacophony of nagging doubts that tell me it won’t work. I will fail and then look at all the time I poured into this for zero returns. But everything I’ve been listening to, outside my inner doubts, has been saying, “Just do it. You might not be ‘qualified’, but that is more than ok because honestly how many times has God taken the most unqualified person and worked fantastic awesomeness through them simply because they got out of His way?”

What better way to look back on my life than with awe and say, “I have no idea why He did it, but God worked some fantastic awesomeness in this weak and sinful life of mine. To Him be all the glory.”

I am weak, but He is strong- stronger than we imagine. This step of faith is taken across a bridge lain with the planks of His faithfulness. Ann Voskamp calls them the “planks of thanks” because when you chronicle your thanks, you are really telling the story of God’s faithfulness.

I’m not really sure how this will all turn out, but I think that’s the way this faith thing is supposed to go. I have my vision, but seriously, God is in charge here. What I do know is this:

  1. If the thing that is stopping you from doing your thing is that annoying doubt in your head, pick up the phone and call me and I will pour some truth up in your ears. Get on facebook, twitter, insta, this blog, a phone, whatever, and find the voices of hope that tell you that even if you aren’t qualified on your own, God is overqualified and makes Himself available to the humble.
  2. What you are doing right now is important. So important. You are serving others. God values that, and more importantly He values you.
  3. We could all benefit from looking back and seeing God with us along the path. Like a Father, our true Father, He cares. He is with you!

How has God shown His faithfulness to you? Is there a step God is calling you to take? What’s holding you back? God is strong, able, and willing to be Your shield and strength. He loves us so so much.

Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

 

2 Comments Add yours

  1. KJ Hagemann says:

    I’m so excited to see you writing! Rock on!!

    Like

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